


Why Would I Ever Let You Go

by rosesofenvy



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Normal Life, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, F/M, M/M, based off of a post (credit given), bit of angst but not to worry!, mainly tuckington
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-28
Updated: 2014-07-28
Packaged: 2018-02-10 18:26:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2035446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosesofenvy/pseuds/rosesofenvy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>ok ok I was looking through kawaii-desu-iron-man's blog on tumblr and there was a tuckington post and i just had to write it because it was a beautiful post and you can go find it if you want because it's perfect and I asked if I could write the thing because yes. Here it is, I hope I don't disappoint.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Why Would I Ever Let You Go

**Author's Note:**

> ok ok I was looking through kawaii-desu-iron-man's blog on tumblr and there was a tuckington post and i just had to write it because it was a beautiful post and you can go find it if you want because it's perfect and I asked if I could write the thing because yes. Here it is, I hope I don't disappoint.

Gunfire fades out in the background as Tucker stares blankly at the blood covered room. He had known that the chances of finding Wash alive were low, but he just couldn't believe it. The agent couldn't be dead, he just couldn't!

He can hear the screams of his fellow teammates, but he can't make himself move. They'd risked everything for this mission, _he'd_ risked everything for this mission. People were dying because of him now, and all for a pointless reason, because Wash is now dead and there's nothing he can do.

He knows they're outnumbered, they were outnumbered before, they're probably even more so now.

Tucker backhands a tear, feeling himself become more angry as he stands. He puts his helmet back on, turning away from Wash with a whispered goodbye before running back out into the battle.

He's going to kill the bastard who did this, he doesn't care if he dies in the process, he will get revenge. He barely sees his comrades amongst all the smoke from various guns and bombs, but he knows what he's searching for. When he sees the faint glimmer, he begins sprinting forward, screaming wordlessly as he grasps his energy sword, aiming solely for the bastards heart with tears streaming down his face.

He hears someone, maybe Caboose or Grif, yell for him, but he can't stop as he stabs forward, feeling something suddenly pierce the back of his armor and pain explode through his body. A different scream is ripped from his mouth as he crumples to the ground, feeling droplets of blood drip from the corner of his mouth. He can see Locust walking away, completely unharmed as he lies on the ground.

Sound begins to fade out as he realizes that he's probably going to bleed to death, and he couldn't even get revenge for Wash. Tucker knows revenge was a stupid idea anyway, but he just...

He just wanted to see Washington again. That's all he wanted.

"I just wanted to see you again dammit," He whispers out loud, feeling more tears leak out from under closed lids, mixing with the blood that was splattered against the inside of his helmet.

Tucker flinches as he's moved, but finds he himself unable to move, darkness encroaching on the edge of his vision as suddenly he feels numb. He can't hear the shouting anymore, and he's almost thankful for the silence.

Wash is standing in front of him now, small smile on his face as he reaches out to Tucker. And Tucker almost feels like smiling as everything goes dark.

* * *

 

Tucker sighs as he climbs out of the car, small grocery list in hand as he looks at the small supermarket. He'd never been here before, but he didn't feel like making the long drive to where he normally goes, that would be too much trouble. Moving to the new apartment had gotten him all mixed up.

He spends a good twenty minutes aimlessly wandering the store, trying to find everything he needed before he bumps into someone, nearly dropping the little basket he'd kept everything in in the process.

"Hey watch-" He begins to say before stopping, grabbing at the strangers arm, eyes widening. "Simmons?"

The redhead looked like he was about to say something as well before looking shocked, "Wait...Tucker?"

"Holy crap Simmons!" Tucker exclaims, dropping the basket to give the taller man a hug. An awkward hug, but still a hug.

They both begin talking at the same time before awkwardly agreeing to take turns talking.

"How much can you remember?" Is what Simmons asks first, still shocked over this.

"Not much to be honest, being stuck in a canyon, my teammates and you guys, Wash, a few more things," Tucker lists remembering a few scenes that had been played out in his mind before.

"Same here, I kind of thought they were just weird dreams to be honest," Simmons admits with a sheepish smile.

"Dude exactly, but then I just realized one day that it was real, I don't know why," Tucker shrugs.

"Have you 'found' anyone else then?" Simmons asks, sounding hopeful.

"No, you're the first actually," Tucker says, seeing Simmons's face fall. "But then again I haven't exactly been looking," Tucker says quickly afterword.

"Yeah I can't say much since I haven't either," Simmons sighs, brushing a hand through his short hair, "I guess I was just kind of hoping."

"No kidding, listen, I just moved nearby, I'm going to give you my cell so we can start trying to find the others, hopefully they'll also be nearby," Tucker says quickly, ripping off the blank spot on his grocery list and writing both his address and his number to give to Simmons. "That way if we find someone we can contact each other," He explains when Simmons still looks confused.

"Oh yeah that makes sense," Simmons says, now seeming embarrassed.

"I'm going to finish shopping now, It was great to find you Simmons," Tucker grins, picking up his discarded groceries.

"Oh wait, question, why did you decide to move here of all places Tucker?" Simmons asks before Tucker can walk away.

Tucker muses for a moment, "Same reason you're here probably, there's a bar called Blood Gulch."

* * *

 

A few weeks after Tucker finding Simmons, two weeks of searching his memories for any new information on his past life, he gets a call from Simmons around three am.

"Simmons you're damn lucky I don't go to sleep till like four," Tucker greets, immediately noting that there's alot of background noise to Simmons's side of the call.

 _"I found Grif!"_ Simmons exclaims, yelling over the noise.

"Dude no shit! Where are you?" Tucker asks, jumping up and searching for his car keys while shrugging on a jacket.

 _"Blood Gulch Bar,"_ Simmons yells, sounding almost sheepish but sounding even more happy.

"I'll be there in a few minutes, have you talked to him at all?"

 _"Yeah he just went to get a new drink, I'll tell you more when you get here!"_ Simmons yells, ending the call before Tucker can reply. Tucker would grumble if he wasn't so happy about finding someone else. Grif of all people too, it's unsurprising that he'd be at a bar but to be in the same town? Amazing coincidence that's for sure. 

He gets to the bar just under five minutes, seeing that the place must be pretty popular at this time of night. He somehow manages to find Simmons rather quickly, sitting in a booth against the wall with a familiar looking Hawaiian man sitting across from him.

"Simmons, Grif!" Tucker greets, making Simmons scoot over so he could sit. Grif stares at him almost suspiciously before nodding at him.

"So I wasn't crazy, there was a past life where we all fought in a stupid fucking war," Is all he says, looking pointedly at Simmons.

"Yeah, do you remember much?" Tucker asks, interrupting Simmons answer, and earning a glare from both of them in response.

"Nothing other than a war and being a part of it. I recognized Simmons only after he started saying shit about Red Team and other bullshit."

Tucker doesn't know what to say, only nodding thoughtfully, he almost smiles again as a rush of memories hits him, one of the ones that he'd been repeating in his mind. He stands abruptly, grinning at the two of them.

"I'll leave you two to it then, call me if anyone else shows up alright?" Tucker gives a small wave, walking out despite the protests from both Grif and Simmons.

When he gets to the car, he just sits in the drivers seat, staring blankly at the grey ceiling as he fights back tears. He'd already found two people, two, that means he'll be able to find others, he can find everybody.

Even Wash.

He can see Wash again.

* * *

 

Tucker doesn't encounter anyone else for almost two months, finding out after a few weeks that Grif had moved in with Simmons and they were actively looking for others, venturing outside of their little town in some cases.

Tucker was going to a new coffee place that Grif had recommended when he spotted a familiar face while ordering. He almost didn't finish placing his order in shock, not remembering picking up the warm drink as he walks over to the table.

It looks like the two of them are having a whispered argument, but Tucker gives no fucks and interrupts it right away.

"Church!" He says, catching the attention of he older man and the blonde sitting across from him in the booth. She gives him a glare before it fades into confusion.

Church gives him a confused and annoyed look before realization spreads across his features, "Tucker?"

"You remember me! We're already off on a good start!" Tucker cheers, earning a few strange looks from the other cafe-goers but really not caring. Church rolls his eyes in annoyance, giving who Tucker knows is Tex a look.

"How could I forget one of the idiots on Blue Team, of course I remember you. And before you ask, I can remember everything, and so can Tex," He nods at Tex who smirks at him.

"Well then I don't need to debrief you, good. I found Simmons and Grif too, in case you were wondering," Tucker adds, seeing Church look a mix between shocked and impressed.

"Anyone else?" Tex asks, sounding as hopeful as Simmons had when Tucker first found him.

Tucker shakes his head in response, "Only those two, and you two today, but I have been looking," He adds when Tex looks disappointed.

"Nice to know that we weren't the only ones then," Church says softly, looking down at the table.

"I agree with you on that," Tucker says, pulling out his phone and putting it in front of Church. "I'll tell you when I find anyone else, so far I've had the most luck," He grins as Church snorts.

"Shocker, I can remember us being not that lucky in the past."

* * *

 

Tucker keeps in touch with the others when they all sort of separate. Church texted him a few days after he found them that he and Tex were only there temporarily, but they both agreed to keep searching wherever they were headed. Grif and Simmons weren't actively searching as much, Simmons focusing mostly on the college courses he'd started taking and Grif actually getting a job (and complaining every day about it).

More than six months pass before he actually finds someone else. A few days earlier Church told him that him and Tex had found Carolina, and a month earlier than that Simmons said that he saw Donut in a pet shop booth at the fair (which they also happened to find Sarge at). Their fellow red team members barely remembered anything, but had remembered them so it was all good on their end. And a little less than a month ago Tucker thought he saw Doc in a nearby clinic and told Simmons, who investigated and found out it really was him.

There were only two people left on Tucker's mental checklist.

And he had a feeling he'd find one of them here.

Even after living here a bit less than a year, he just now found out that there was a very popular arcade in town. He walks into the place already expecting what he would see, and his guess being confirmed. Multiple gaming consoles are everywhere, the carpet dark and the lights dim overhead. Following what he guesses to be instinct, he goes to the middle of the room, following a line of tv screens to a more old fashioned section, where he spots the person he was hoping to find.

"Yay Sheila you didn't die this time!" Caboose cheers, referring to the lady Pac-Man that's now running across the screen.

"Hey Caboose," Tucker greets before the new game would start. Caboose looks startled, before grinning.

"Tucker! I was just playing the game and Sheila didn't die! It's so fun!" The man exclaims, returning to the game. Tucker grins, Same old Caboose.

"That's cool dude, hows it going?"

"It is going good Tucker, and it's even better now that you're here!"

"Well I can't stay that long, so how about I just give you my number and we can talk more, catch up on things," Tucker says, realizing that he should probably start heading to his apartment if he was going to get ready for his job in time.

"That is fine too Tucker, we can meet up again later! And you can see Freckles too!" Caboose says happily, pocketing the piece of paper that Tucker gives to him.

"Yeah I can't wait to see Freckles again!" Tucker says, thinking that logically Freckles would be a dog in this universe. He pats Caboose's shoulder before walking out, mentally checking off one of the two names.  
One left.

* * *

 

Two years pass with no signs of Washington.

Church and Tex had found most of the freelancers, along with other people like the Director and Councilor. Most of the Freelancers didn't remember much, but they were still there and that meant alot. Tucker had met up with Caboose often, he'd communicated regularly with Simmons and everyone else, hoping that they'd found someone, namely Washington, but they never did.

Tucker tries not to let it discourage him, instead working through his job so that he could get a new car. The used one he'd gotten was breaking down constantly now, he'd almost gotten stranded multiple times.

In the heat of Summer, which still affected him even with the air conditioner on full blast and driving a little over the speed limit, he realizes that he made a mistake of not letting his phone charge overnight.

He's on the freeway when his phone beeps, signalling either a message or a low battery. He doesn't take his eyes off the road as he feels around for his phone, unlocking it for a second to see the battery completely drained. He curses under his breath as he tosses it into the empty passenger seat, realizing he'll have to suffer through his job without it.

A few more minutes of driving pass before he hears a worrying sound, a sort of clink-clunk noise that his car always makes before it- and there it goes. He curses more as he pulls over sharply, getting out of the way of traffic as his car stops moving completely.

"Too fucking hot for this shit," He mutters as he pockets his keys and pops the hood on the car, scowling when he can't see what the issue is. Running a hand over his head he growls under his breath as he glances at his phone, seeing that it had shut down completely, it was no use to him now. Another stream of curses fly from his lips as he pockets the stupid device and returns to looking at the mechanics of the car.

He gives up after a few minutes, cursing the stupid heat and his stupid phone and his stupid car and his stupid self. He's so involved in his own rant that he almost doesn't notice someone pulling off to the side of the road a few feet behind his car. He glances up, glare melting off his face and mouth falling open in shock.

The guy walks toward him, concerned look on his face fading slightly as he notices Tucker staring, replaced with shock. Tucker can only note the features, wondering if he's hallucinating because of the heat or some shit because it has been over two fucking years and now he's right there. Blond hair and those damn freckles that are sprinkled all over his skin, it just has to be him.

Neither of them can move though, until Tucker asks, hesitantly, "Do you remember me?" He feels himself shaking, but he can't stop as he waits for an answer, hoping that Wash will.

And Washington nods, and Tucker just runs forward, practically tackling the man as he hugs him, pressing his face into the taller mans shoulder as he starts crying and whispering a stream of apologies. And Wash is whispering them back, both of them just repeating "I'm sorry i didn't get there in time" "I'm sorry I left you" "I'm sorry" "I'm so sorry" until they both stop crying and step back from their hug.

Washington presses a kiss to Tuckers forehead before they pull apart, whispering what Tucker had wanted to say for years now, ever since his past life.

And when he says it back, he feels like everything is perfect.


End file.
